Quotes by Artie Lange

About Artie Lange:

Arthur Steven "Artie" Lange, Jr. is an American actor, comedian, radio personality, and author, best known for being part of The Howard Stern Show and the television sketch comedy series Mad TV.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

Artie Lange

As a child, as far as I was concerned, my dad had an amazing job, and we had all the money we needed. My life was so fun and carefree that I didn't realize at all that we weren't rich - until I met someone rich. Still, I've never met a rich kid who g...

Artie Lange

People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such a special thing. It took him a long time to create this family of fans, and I was lucky to be a part of that for a while.

Artie Lange

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that.

Artie Lange

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

Artie Lange

Unlike a lot of comics, I didn't care about getting on 'Saturday Night Live.' That show had such history and was so established that I didn't see the point.

Artie Lange

My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.

Artie Lange

To tell you the truth, there are all these websites predicting my early death, and it's starting to work on me!

Artie Lange

Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.

Artie Lange

Woody Allen stayed so good because he never left New York. Howard Stern stayed so good because he never left New York - Mel Brooks when he just got out of New York was doing 'Blazing Saddles;' when he left New York he started doing stuff like 'Robin ...

Artie Lange

When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But the worst trick time plays on you is just how slowly the worst times in your life take you to live through.

Artie Lange

When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.

Artie Lange

It's good to be alive.

Artie Lange

My father was a really good athlete, so his pop-ups really were sky high. Eventually I learned how to judge them properly and catch them well. It was great training for when I started to play on teams, which I did all through school.

Artie Lange

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.

Artie Lange

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like a...

Artie Lange

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

Artie Lange

I'm like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you're with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, 'God I wish I had the person on stage to be with all the time.'

Artie Lange

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd want to punch him in the face; he'd just seem like a whiner to you. But the fact is that he's funny.

Artie Lange

It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.

Artie Lange

Author Bio

  • NameArtie Lange
  • DescriptionComedian, radio personality
  • BornOctober 11, 1967
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Author