Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
Muscles come and go; flab lasts.
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.
In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
To God, thy country, and thy friend be true.
Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed.
The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong.
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a huge research staff to study the problem.
We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.