Cal: [Jacob is standing naked in the men's locker room, legs spread apart] Cal: Would you put on some clothes please? Jacob: Jacob: Oh, I'm sorry. Is this bothering you? Cal: Cal [annoyed] Cal: No! It's not! Jacob: Jacob: Cal, my schwantz is in your ...Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Hannah: [after kissing him passionately] Do you remember me? Jacob: [fazed by the kiss] Yeah. Hannah: Do you still find me attractive? Jacob: Yes. Hannah: Do you still want to take me home? Jacob: Yeah. Hannah: Let's go.Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Robbie: You wanna talk about The Scarlet Letter, Ms. Tafferty? All right. Well, the A they're both wearing - I think it stands for "asshole." Wanna know why? Because they fell in love and love is for stupid assholes. And this book is just about a bun...Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Cal: Who told you that Emily and I are getting divorced? Cal's Boss: Amy heard you crying in the bathroom - we all thought it was cancer. Cal: Oh... Cal's Boss: Thank God, man... *laughing* Cal: Yeah, just my relationship...Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Cal: I'm so mad at you. I'm really mad at you for what you did. But I'm mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out of that car - I should have fought for you. Because you fight for your soul mates. Emily: I miss you.Crazy, Stupid, Love.