Margo Channing: Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night!
Margo Channing: Bill's thirty-two. He looks thirty-two. He looked it five years ago, he'll look it twenty years from now. I hate men.
Margo Channing: So many people know me. I wish I did. I wish someone would tell me about me. Karen Richards: You're Margo, just Margo. Margo Channing: And what is that, besides something spelled out in light bulbs, I mean - besides something called a...
Lloyd Richards: That bitter cynicism of yours is something you've acquired since you left Radcliffe! Karen Richards: The cynicism you refer to, I acquired the day I discovered I was different from little boys!
Margo Channing: Funny business, a woman's career - the things you drop on your way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them again when you get back to being a woman. That's one career all females have in common, whether we li...
Lloyd Richards: I shall never understand the weird process by which a body with a voice suddenly fancies itself as a mind. Just when exactly does an actress decide they're HER words she's speaking and HER thoughts she's expressing? Margo Channing: Us...
Margo Channing: Lloyd, honey, be a playwright with guts. Write me one about a nice normal woman who just shoots her husband.
Addison DeWitt: And what's your name? Phoebe: Phoebe. Addison DeWitt: Phoebe? Phoebe: I call myself Phoebe. Addison DeWitt: And why not? Tell me, Phoebe, do you want someday to have an award like that of your own? Phoebe: More than anything else in t...
Birdie: What a story! Everything but the bloodhounds snappin' at her rear end.
[a butler passes by] Miss Claudia Caswell: Oh, waiter! Addison DeWitt: That is not a waiter, my dear, that is a butler. Miss Claudia Caswell: Well, I can't yell "Oh butler!" can I? Maybe somebody's name is Butler. Addison DeWitt: You have a point. An...
Lloyd Richards: How about calling it a night? Margo Channing: And you pose as a playwright? A situation pregnant with possibilities and all you can think of is everybody go to sleep.
Addison DeWitt: [voiceover] Margo Channing is a star of the theater. She made her first stage appearance at the age of four in Midsummer Night's Dream. She played a fairy and entered, quite unexpectedly, stark naked. She has been a star ever since. M...
Bill Sampson: Have you no human consideration? Margo Channing: Show me a human, and I might have!
Lloyd Richards: A Hollywood movie star just arrived. Margo Channing: Shucks, and I sent my autograph book to the cleaner.
Bill Sampson: We have to go to City Hall for the marriage license and blood test. Margo Channing: I'd marry you if it turned out you had no blood at all.
Addison DeWitt: That I should want you at all suddenly strikes me as the height of improbability. But that in itself is probably the reason: You're an improbable person, Eve, and so am I. We have that in common. Also our contempt for humanity and ina...
Birdie: The bed looks like a dead animal act.