Image Gallery : funny

Funny quotes by George Bernard Shaw, Best quotes by George Bernard Shaw, UberQuotes

George Bernard Shaw

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Funny quotes by Mark Twain, Death quotes by Mark Twain, UberQuotes

Mark Twain

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Funny quotes by Bill Cosby, UberQuotes

Bill Cosby

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Funny quotes by Carl Sandburg, UberQuotes

Carl Sandburg

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Funny quotes by Eminem, Trust quotes by Eminem, UberQuotes


Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.

Funny quotes by Groucho Marx, UberQuotes

Groucho Marx

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Funny quotes by George Bernard Shaw, Government quotes by George Bernard Shaw, UberQuotes

George Bernard Shaw

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Funny quotes by Henny Youngman, Morning quotes by Henny Youngman, UberQuotes

Henny Youngman

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Funny quotes by Isaac Asimov, Great quotes by Isaac Asimov, UberQuotes

Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Funny quotes by Lana Turner, Money quotes by Lana Turner, UberQuotes

Lana Turner

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Funny quotes by Lily Tomlin, UberQuotes

Lily Tomlin

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Funny quotes by Mitch Hedberg, UberQuotes

Mitch Hedberg

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Funny quotes by Mark Twain, UberQuotes

Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Funny quotes by Mark Twain, UberQuotes

Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Funny quotes by Oliver Herford, UberQuotes

Oliver Herford

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

Funny quotes by Oscar Levant, UberQuotes

Oscar Levant

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Funny quotes by Theodore Roosevelt, UberQuotes

Theodore Roosevelt

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

Funny quotes by Thomas Sowell, Knowledge quotes by Thomas Sowell, UberQuotes

Thomas Sowell

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

Funny quotes by W. H. Auden, UberQuotes

W. H. Auden

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.