Death is a lot like prom - loud, overdone, and although the guy you came with was cool, you never know who'll end up taking you home.
You give frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip?
I felt my heart expanding, making room for him to movie in permanently.
You're the most annoying girl on the planet. You make me want to throw myself off a bridge. And, unfortunately, I am one hundred percent, head-over-heels, crazy in love with you.
Caring about him was like trying to love a tree stump - a cold, mean-spirited paternalistic tree stump. With fungus.
I frowned at him. "Isn't sarcasm the opiate of the masses?" "You're thinking of religion," he replied. "Sarcasm is the Xanax of the morally bereft.