Deacon: I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.
Vladislav: I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
Anton, werewolf: [to all the werewolves] What are we? We're...
Anton, werewolf: We're Werewolves, not Swear-Wolves.
Viago: Yeah some of our clothes are from victims. You might bite someone and then, you think, 'Oooh, those are some nice pants!'.
Jackie: You were a virgin when we were seeing each other.
Nick: Yeah, I was twelve.
Stu: [Showing the vampires Google] Anything you want to find you type it in.
Viago: I lost a really nice silk scarf in about 1912.
Deacon: Yes, now Google it.
Vladislav: We're vampires, we don't put down towels.
Deacon: When you are a vampire you become very... , sexy!
Vladislav: Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!
Viago: What are you bidding on?
Vladislav: I am bidding on a table.
Vladislav: He was an 18th century dandy, so he can be very fussy
Vladislav: We should get some slaves!